Tuesday, October 10, 2017

crunch the void

a void
restlessness
an absence
of faith
and all the nice things
that I can never have
for what is within sight
is not within grasp
and a closed fist
is often used to punch the walls
the cockroach in my heart
is eating away all the blood and gristle
the husk of emotions that I am left with
is of no use to me

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

tricks - 1

devil pulled a trick on god
the apple was tainted with knowledge
but knowing was not enough
Eve needed a plan of action too

so he gave her an app on a screen
all the sins lined up in a bullet list, right here
just scroll through, all you need to do
if there's any issue, just call 666, customer care

Eve stared at the debauchery listed there
excited she was, but also scared
the apple was crunchy and filled with juice
she called up Adam and gave him the news

when Adam returned with the catch of the day
he saw Eve looking radiant and gay
what was it about some list that you said
she gave her a bite of the apple instead

in that instant, he knew of every lie
that He told them and he wanted to cry
a maelstrom of thoughts swirling in his head
wouldn't it be better if this bitch was dead?

the hammer of knowledge broke Adam's back
his conscience was soon full of tiny cracks
and the snake of doubt rolled in his guy
maybe i should cut off the head of this slut

Eve herself didn't like the look in his eyes
but filled with knowledge she was not surprised
she knew the reaction was only a natural state
The bitch of Eden had not resigned to her fate

perhaps he'd like a taste of poison
or taste of steel in the back of his throat
or maybe a loving embrace of a rock
while in his dreams, he is dead and lost

pieces on a chessboard with unknown rules
the players locked in a dance of death like fools
daggers each with eyes on another's back
no alpha, no omega, in this pack

--
This is a word in progress.
 

dead sun

when a dead sun sinks into the sea
then i'll see you there
arms wide open
waiting for me

it could be another evening
or the coming of an endless night
but i will walk into your embrace
all doubts erased by your light

in the dark moonlight
i know you will take my hand
you will move me to groove me
whisper litanies i don't understand

i would not need to
as long as you speak to me
so i will seek you
when a dead sun sinks into the sea

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Confusion

More sheets
More paper in the stack
Ink stains my fingers
Some of it in my hair too.

I just wanted to write
That was my only mistake
Among others that
No one told me to make

A missile with a faulty guiding system
Flying through clouds of confusion
To end up somewhere darker
Than where I was meant to be

A question mark on all the answers
Thin threads tangled from within
A puzzle with no solution
Even the end would not be any fun

Saturday, September 23, 2017

when a machine dreams

i wonder if my laptop dreams
when i shut it down or put it to sleep
does it replay memories of my sins
of all the horror that i put it in

maybe it dreams of a bigger RAM
or more space on its hard disk
does it need a new charging cable
or a clean up to make the keyboard whisk

i've taped up its eye so no one can spy
maybe it has forgotten my face in this time
but i'll use this thing till it's called by digital gods
to it's final resting place, till then it's fine

i plug in my phone, my powerbank, my mp3 player
it dutifully gives juice to them all
but i feel like screaming at this machine at times
when bogged down by tasks it begins to crawl

does it curse me in those moments of random rage?
when it slows down to load all elements on a page
when i use it all day does it feel out of breath?
when i shut it at night, does it dream of my death?

---
It's a funny thing about my laptop. When I first bought it, I took it to the market the next day to sell it off because I didn't like it this much. No one bought it back. Not even the shop that I got it from. So, I kept it. And this fucking this has kept me for close to 7 years now. Here's to seven more!

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

insomnia isn't real

wipe the sleep from my eyes
i am done with lying dead for a few hours
i know if i can hold off sleep enough
i will wake up from this dream
hook me up to the coffee machine
plug some Metallica in my ears
give me something spicy to eat
tonight, i do not want to sleep
but no matter how much I shoo the sandman away
he still creeps up and behind me with sandy fingers
i turn around in my chair to catch him unaware
but where was a ghost, not just a shadow lingers
so i'll put my head to the pillow tonight
with one eye open, other shut tight
and i'll count the sheep till 50 thousand
till i see the morning light
--
Yawn.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

3 AM Again

what is it about night
that makes poets out of some men
perhaps it's the darkness
or maybe its the silence
maybe night carries blades in her mouth
and a promised kiss of violence
night is an enchantress
she doesn't walk, but she floats
she whispers filth in your ears
she fills your heads with evil thoughts
and then she takes you in
head sleepy, heart seeking sin
but the distance between night and day
is already getting thin
the yellow monster on its way
you bare teeth at another day
the light is nothing else but pain
as you want for night again
but you breathe in the comfort that
somewhere it's always 3 AM