Saturday, December 22, 2012

How To Break A Man

How do you break a man?
From a giant to the bottom of a trash can?
The recipe is simple
It's a beauty like a dimple
You bring that man
Face to face
With a beautiful girl
And make him fall in love
If he doesn't fall in love
You try another girl
And another
And another
This requires patience
For breaking men isn't an easy task
Once this man has fallen in love
He will be weak
He might think that love has made him strong
But he is wrong
The heart weakens in the tender palaces of love
Love in a pin you can stab
An insult you can grab
It hurts most, where it hurts the most
The you slowly break the man
Inch by inch
Day by day
Till he is disillusioned
And alone
Till he has no place called home
Then you take away the thing he loves
A tender kiss of goodbye
A finger traced upon a thigh
The little things
That get lost
As a brave man
Turns to a ghost
A memory of what he was
Once upon a time

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

You Break Me

With every step and every action
With every word and every reaction
With every glance and every sigh
You break me just a little more

I can save me from the world
I can save the world from me
But what do I do of your indifference?
It's breaking me

It hurts more than a wound
To see you change
Into someone you're not
This savage time

Even my thoughts decay
The flowers wilt
The water is green
The pain is deeper now

Things
Just 
Stop 
Making 
Sense

Broken, here I lie
Staring at the sky

Monday, September 17, 2012

sleepwalking existence

nothing can stop the water
it finds its way through the walls
through the cracks
through the seams
through the beams 
of the soul of this building 
then stains appear
like some hidden morbid fear
in the soul of a man
(do people really become ugly
when they think ugly thoughts?)
the smell of water is everywhere
the walls are now stained
impure
as i wait for another accident
to wake me up from this sleepwalking existence
to make me feel something alive
am i breathing?
i don't think i am
i don't think i'll mention 
i'm not even paying attention
because ugly people have ugly intentions
beautiful people do, too
just like me and you


Friday, September 14, 2012

Stolen Words

They can steal my tweets, my words, my jokes
Copy paste these words wherever they like
Get them tattooed in their skins for fake admiration
But they still won't feel what I felt
When I poured these words 
From the black depths of my soul
Like dark blood falling on white sheets
Like dark blood painting the walls and ceilings
Painting patterns to invoke
The demons made of smoke

They won't know when I felt like shit
They won't know the elation, the joy
They won't know the sadness of lost toys
I've diluted the blood with tears
Just so I could write some more
About my hopes and my fears

They will never know. 
I belong to these words 
And these words belong to me
They can be stolen, but they'll never belong to them

--

I need to do a part two of this poem. Still feels strangely unfinished.


Thursday, September 13, 2012

Remember The Magic?

Do you remember the magic?
If you don't, let me help you
Because I want to help you
I'll even say please
I want to show you the magic
So let's go, you and me
Before things turn too tragic

Remember the day of your 
Ninth birthday
When you ripped gift paper off gifts
there was surprise in your eyes
that was magic

Remember the rain on a Monday morning 
When mother said it's okay to not go to school
And you stayed in all day playing video games
Or reading comics in your room
that was magic

Remember the time you went to a new place
How the light played tricks with shadows
How those places smelled
Those peculiar smells that you associate with only those places
that was magic

So where is that magic now?
We have to find it, you and I
We have to dig deep down in our memories
And relive that special memory
Only for a second maybe
To recapture


Wednesday, September 12, 2012

The Darkness Will Eat Me

I have been staring at the screen for so long
So dazed, so fazed
My memories erased
There is nothing more left to take now
Just the ashes of my soul
Falling down in this dirty air
I am not here or there
I am everywhere and nowhere
Just questions in my head 
With no answers visible
I am waiting to be dead
Waiting for a miracle
Who needs the answers anyway?
Who needs the truth?
There is only pain on this planet
And space is so far away
(so far away)
There was this place called home 
Is it there anymore?
Where life was simple
Where air was pure
Where if you closed your eyes
You would hear for miles
The distant whistles of a trains 
(Rolling rolling)
Going somewhere I'll never go
I know that I don't know
What all this means
Maybe it means nothing
The big black awaits us
The final silence
The shame
Of being born again
The shame of living a life like this
Staring at screens all the time
While our batteries run low
I know that I don't know
But if you go, take me with you
I can't be here alone
The darkness will eat me

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Words Chased Me Home Today

I was chased by some words today
They followed me to my home
They clung to my shoes
They climbed in my bones

Those words did something to my brain
Now all my thoughts are weird and strange
The words traveled through my blood
Seems my heart has been rearranged

My fingers tickle and skin rips away
The words bleed on this keyboard
All sticky and stacky but oh so happy
Words are never ever ever bored

I watch fascinated, as I bleed away
Words crawl on this screen and sit in lines
I have nothing more left to say
I am fine. Really. I am fine.

Friday, September 7, 2012

I Have Seen

I have seen dreams die
In the eyes
of men 
who slave from 9 to 9

I have breathed 
the stench of fear
and failure
in office cubicles

I have felt
a random urgency
a pressure
of doing something

there is no pride in just moving
from one place to another
to and fro and to
I have seen nothing new

Friday, August 31, 2012

The Flame

all these thoughts are hurting my head
but this pain is nothing new
it's been with me like a constant dread
even when my thoughts were few

the bubbles froth under the surface
while above is serene and calm 
anger and hate collide in this place
i bleed crimson on my palm

do these ideas have any meaning
none of this ever makes sense
am i awake or only dreaming
this life is just pretense

the flame that burns in me is violent
facing the winds and storms, abashed
once I wished that it was silent
but that moment has passed

now it's all noise and chaos
breaking through the walls i built
this gain will be no one's loss
when the leaves of memories wilt

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

the rain smelled better

the rain smelled better
when we had to go to school
now it's just an inconvenience 
on way to office

there was a joy in puddles
now they just make the shoes dirty
the innocence is lost
the memories are a ghost

future was exciting when we were little
now there is only fear of future
and the tension that no one mentions
of the inevitable, coming fast

is this the life we had dreamed of?
is this all we really wanted?
where are those dreams now?
i want to strangle them to death.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Excel Sheet Sickness

What kind of strange days are these?
I feel as if I am floating
Above everything that I see
I can even see me

My thoughts are flying in slow-motion
Unable to express any emotion
What strange sickness assails me?
Why won't it set me free?

My sense of smell has time-traveled it seems
I can smell chemistry labs and brick beams
The morning smell of sunrise
The evening smell of birds coming home

I remember my childhood like it was yesterday
When the only care was homework and holidays
Now I think about Excel sheets and weekends
Just Excel sheets and weekends
Excel sheets on weekends


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Bumped Into God

I bumped into God on the street
He was carrying a bundle of typewritten pages
About half of the bundle fell to the ground
And the wind took some of the pages away

I am sorry, I said, even though I was not
What a clumsy old God, I thought
As I made a half-hearted attempt
To pick some of the pages up

The old God just stood and watched
Carrying about half of the bundle in his hand
Stupidly, his mouth moved, making words
But I was not sure if I had heard

I picked the pages the best I could
I said, watch you step old God, you should
You might bump into another one of me
He took the pages from my hand, silently

Skittered away
Without looking back



Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Ghost in the Coffee Machine

It buzzes and hisses
It turns and grinds
It shits out liquid fire
But no one really minds

The ghost in the coffee machine
It spoke to me today
It said words of pain and fire
That I couldn't comprehend anyway

We tried hard to communicate
But we couldn't make a headway
The only emotion I sensed was hate
Anything else, it wouldn't say

Now the coffee is extra bitter
It tastes of desire
And dreams crushed really fine
The coffee machine tells me to resign
--

Just some random weirdness. The coffee machine in office is my best friend.

Pieces


the thing in my chest is broken
shattered into a million jagged pieces
that i collected in the bleeding palm of my hand
and threw in the sky

now we're looking

we're looking at you
watching your every move
watching you grind and groove

you should also watch out too
hey, you
just watch out

one of these days
one of these pieces
will fall like a meteor
through the atmosphere
and smash your skull in
like a bullet from god

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Just Empty Words

You don't have to be wrong
For me to be right
For the sake of this poem
We must continue to fight
We can't keep looking for peace
We will never find it
It's hidden in the past 
But we can't rewind it
The only way out
Is within and without
Confusion and chaos
Misery and mess
Who is fucked?
Who is blessed?
Who knows?
No one does
It's all guesses and ideas
Just empty words

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Found Poetry

A little background: I saw this phone "review" on flipkart, and it seemed pretty poetic to me. So, I divided it into lines where I felt appropriate, without editing for grammar or typos. The end result is this. Very Nissim Ezekiel. Enjoy :) 

5 Reasons why I would buy this phone
Disclaimer :I am pretty much an android user for 2 years,
which makes my review little aggressive.
Any android fan boys out there
please don't be offended.

1.I get Windows Phone OS with all the apps I need,
I don't need my phone just to have angry bird 
or talking tom,
what I need is quality apps which work for me. 

Facebook and Twitter and all other social sites integrated into the OS 
(so I don't have to do to marketplace install their apps which doesn't help much :D ) 
will save lot of time going through apps 
and figuring out what's new in all of them.

Guys why do you need so much apps in market ? 
Are you gonna install 100000+ apps in your phone ?? 
Are you kidding ?

2. In built Outlook Mobile Client: 
I have an android tablet which I use as my alarm. 
Yeah 
its good for just that. 
When I already spent enough on a tab/smartphone, 
why would I not get a world class Email client or browser? 

Trust me 

The default Email Active sync do not sync folders I have specified 
on my outlook 
nor google has a concept of giving regular update. 
Cannot blame them 
for the fact their vendors messed it all. 

So I will be forced to Buy Email clients like "TouchDown" 
which I found the only app giving a good professional Email sync.
In Case of Windows Phone 
We get the outlook mobile itself present, 
and I get to see all my meetings on the start screen. 

I get complete office mobile version which is an added bonus .

3. Nokia build quality: 
The screen resolution is awesome for this price. 
I will tell you why I feel that. 
I recently gifted someone an android phone 
when nokia did not have 710 or 610 
it cost me around 9.5k, from Samsung. 

The screen resolution is so bad 
that I can see the pixels in them :D. 

This model has soft key which even Lumia 710 does not have. 
I would say this phone would have cost 15k-17k if this was released 
1 year before. 
And this looks to have Gorilla Glass.

4.Camera : 
Agree they don't give you a VGA
(oldddd technology) 
front cam. 
However 
at this price there aren't much phone who will give 5MP cam with LED flash. 

Am I talking like a nokia sales man? 

well I have a Samsung Galaxy S, 
much celebrated phone from the Apple rivals.. 
they don't have a flash for their camera. Nor does their 15k phone Galaxy Ace has it... 
guess what.. an entry level Windows Phone from Nokia has it...

5. Fits my budget: 
I would not spend on 40k iphone to show off. 
I am happy to spend for something fits my needs 
and this phone does it and covers my work and social life.

Monday, August 6, 2012

I Think I Know

I think I understand why dogs go insane
Why they howl at night 
Deriding unknown gods with their wails

I think I know why it hurts so much
We live, breathe and die
Just as a vehicle of suffering 

I think I know why we dream
These thoughts bubbles in mind-drums
Escaping into the night, screaming

I think I know why people kill
They want to feel something
That is better than love or lust

I think I know why 
I think I know
But I know not
Why poetry needs to make sense
Why can't we drown in beauty
And breathe in deliverance. 

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Who Cares for Perfection?

let us be rotten to the core
let us never be sure
let us be fueled by action
let us ignore the perfection

we know we'll never attain it
it's a goal we'll never gain it
so let us stop the inaction
and let go of perfection

we need something tangible 
we need something bearable
we need something to hold
we need something bold

but we keep chasing a dream
through the rivers and streams
we go with flow, but we don't know
perfection is always a no go

you can ask why that would be right
because perfection is end to the fight
it's all about said and done
how can you improve perfection?

Monday, July 30, 2012

defocused

psychedelic misinterpretations
psychosomatic invitations
it all drifts, with the flow
faster as we go, as we go

do we really know?
the thoughts within?
the price of a smile?
the chemistry of sin?

questions are good
she said
ask me a question
i nodded my head
but i had no question
so i just stared
at her
till my eyes defocused
and she blurred
into butterflies and sunshine.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

When the night is dark

When the night is dark
Words rush in
From crowded corners
Where they hide
Forgotten and scared 
Of everything

But with the lights off
It's open season
They seek no rhyme
Follow no reason
When away from the keys
And pen and paper
Words rush in
As brightness tapers
The crawl under the skin
In fingers 
In hair

Tangled, we dream
But they disappear
As morning light
Silently appears

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Throwing It All Away

I am throwing it all away
These responsibilities
There will just be the road
Under my shoes
Me in those shoes
I will walk, I will walk
Till the soles rot away
Till the soul breaks out
From the shell it is caught in
I need to give it time
So I'll walk
Away from these responsibilities 
And everything

Monday, May 28, 2012

Watched Me Burn

When I fought the dragons
When I swam the seas
When I burned in fires
Were you even thinking of me?

Pretty one
Sweet child
How could you
Stay wild?

I was lying in the pits of darkness
I was dying, slowly out of breath
All I needed was a touch
But maybe I asked too much

Then I crawled deep under my ashes
My wounds filled with rotting worms
I dreamed, of your fleeting warmth
While you watched me burn

For Fuck's Sake

After the stories are told
All complaints are old
The suicide hotline is cold
Who will listen to you now?

You've complained all year
While others lived in fear
For your dark shadow to clear
Can you see the setting sun now?

You've fucked up every source
Screamed till you were hoarse
Now you tap angry code in morse
Where is your voice now?

The blood has run dry
The razors are cold, so cold
You can't even cry
Are you feeling bold?

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Death Of The Coffee Machine

There was no way I could realize
I was taken by surprise
There was no way I could've seen
The death of the coffee machine

It just sat there silently
Staring back at me
No water dripping, no powder moving
Through its extremities

I shed a tear
Sighed a sigh
So saddened
Nearly cried

Murderous without my morning dose of caffeine
I mourned the death of coffee machine
I wondered if this could be a dream
And if I'd wake up with a scream
But it was real, as real as the saddest scene
Of an empty, non-working coffee machine
Irritated, De-caffienated
I grumbled and heavily hated
The coffee would also be missing me
So should I drink a cup of tea?  

Saturday, May 19, 2012

So, she said

Kiss me, she said
I followed where she led, me
Even though I could not see
I trusted her
But her words were sweetened blades
Cold like fires of hades
I loved them still
Just like I loved her
How I loved her
I swallowed her lies
The blades were her eyes
I bled
She led
It was fine for a while
Till we reached the Nile
She climbed a crocodile on the shore
Told me to follow
I just sat there by the bank of the river
Cuz I didn't know where to go.

Monday, April 30, 2012

Inspired

Yesterday, I was so inspired
Come today, I am so tired
Days have passed
I've still done nothing
Is that why
My muse has ceased to sing?
It's futile to make sense of this
But I know I will still try
When I find the answer
I'll curl up in a corner and die
My corpse will become a part of the ground
Mushrooms will grow all around
In the darkness and the shit
I guess, this is it.
Is it?

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Hopeless

It's been too long
That we've mistaken
Motion for progress
Now we're stuck in this mess

There is no way out of it
We're too deep in this shit
Stuck on vibration mode
No end to this road

The only way to go is down
With a smile or a frown
Keep digging deeper still
Dig to the bottom of this hill

Leave behind all shame and pride
And maybe fall
Through the other side.

---
Hope Less

Friday, April 20, 2012

The Inbox Zero

I've chased productivity
Tried to follow GTD
I tried to follow what I know
And made my Gmail inbox count zero

There are no unread emails anymore
I've labeled them, they're all stored
Under "Ideas" and "Follow Up"
I hope I won't mess up

The idea is to tackle things
As soon as they come up
Read the email when phone sings
And kick procrastination's ass

Wish me luck and wish me speed
Wish me all the things I need
Trying new things can be fun
When you move from place between zero and one

-------------
I don't know, this one just formed itself. 

You can google GTD. I don't follow it all, just try some things, dip my toes in its waters n all.

Friday, April 13, 2012

The Drug Called Speed

I love the acceleration 
The roaring wind in my ears
Brushing wings with danger
My spine electrified with fear

With all senses heightened
There is only road and the machine
The world just vanishes, so do I
Beyond my headlight's beam

Nothing can hurt me now
Invincible, as long as I am moving
There is strength between my legs
That's what this speed is proving

The song of the engine is everything
I won't give it up for the world
As long as this machine runs, i'd ride
And escape from all the hurt

----
Some days, riding my bike is the only good thing about the day. This one is dedicated to my bike!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Indifference

I used to be so angry
I used to be so fierce
I used to curse and swear
I used to live in fear

I still live in fear
With a calm sense of dejection
Indifference has seeped in my veins
Like cold ice water

There are few things that faze me now
I've grown over most of the pain somehow
The scabs are hard like steel
The don't let me feel
Anything

The chaos is just an undercurrent
While I float an inch above the water
I sleep slightly unsure
If I've gotten dumber or become smarter

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Hey

Hey
Hey
Hey
How about you and me
We go to the sea
Enjoy each other's
Company
You and me
And me
And me

Friday, March 16, 2012

Back Again

The circle closes
We are back again
Where we started from
Sleepy and bored
In need of some coffee
And silence
Sweet blessed silence

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Seeking Clarity

When I look to the horizon
All I see is darkness
Adding confusion to my thoughts
Pulling me deeper in this mess
Time comes when I can't navigate
I just feel along the walls in this place
My only compass is my hate
Which does not show on my face
Hate is the fuel in my engine
Burning me to seek clarity
Find meaning in something, anything
Sadness, madness or hilarity
Sometimes I sit in my dark room
Shut up and let the voices commune
They fight, argue and bitch to the max
I sit back, listen and relax
Clarity will come at it's own pace
I realize that it's a growth, not a destination
So I put another mask on my face
And let go of my hesitation
Clarity comes.


Thursday, February 16, 2012

Hello, Coffee

I can feel this coffee sink in my gums
I know it's working to rot my teeth
As I swirl it in my mouth
It tastes as bitter as defeat

The aftertaste of poison lingers on
Like the burn of a flashbulb that has been fired
I've drank cups and cups and cups of this shit
But I still don't feel inspired

My fingers lie dead on the home keys
A home that's so far away
In my mind and geographically
I've never felt more out of place

Like a lonely jigsaw piece, I drink
This bitter coffee of defeat and shame
When I slowly stop and think
I've only myself to blame

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The Gift

I'm full of so many thoughts that I need to express
Just let them flow from my mind without the need to impress
Keep the emotions raw without the words blocking them
To touch the hearts of the reader, with something almost human

I won't confuse all my thoughts
With big words and bullshit
I'll say it plain and all truth
Cuz this is how it is writ

Why make a big deal out of nothing
When we can keep it simple
There's electricity in this air
That won't let the words go dull

So this is my gift to you, dear reader
All these words that I write
Even if you're not with me
I will continue to fight
I will continue to write

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

A Sudden Lack of Immortality

I will not be here
In a 100 years, or so.
But it's also true
Neither will you
This time, the now, is all we've got
It's slipping away really fast
We can try to grope it
We can try to hang on
But what's the point
Time doesn't give a fuck
About you, or me, or anyone else
It goes on
And on and on
Alone
So spend some time at home
Take a break from this race
Drive slower
Chew longer
Love something
Have your heart broken
It will heal, in time
You'll fondly cherish the scar
We're all scarred after all ;)
And it won't matter
In a 100 years, or so.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Dark Hearts, Dark Deeds

She said she'd do anything
He heard her and repeated it
Then the bell rang like hell
And words turned to shit

There is nothing worse than loss
Of what you hold so dear
There is nothing worse than a coin's toss
Between hope and fear

The alternating sides of coins
Just like different human faces
One for you and one for them
They take us different places

So trust not the words
And trust not the deeds
Trust not anything
That hungers, lusts, bleeds
When you see the words
Remember what they read
Dark hearts
Dark deeds

Thursday, January 26, 2012

The Tree On The Mountain

It's lonely at the top
Looking down at everything 
So far away
So out of reach
Life is a beach
The tree would never visit
For the tree on the mountain
Is lonely as lonely can be
The birds visit at times
But they fly away too
The tree on the mountain
Is as lonely as you
So won't you visit the tree
Don't you want to see
How the tree on the mountain
Spends its days 
Counting the ways
Sand would feel funny between its roots
For when the night falls dark
Dreams awaken in the tree's bark
The tree dreams it'd be free
And one day reach the sea


Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Breathe

The universe is closing around me
Taking me in
This claustrophobic hug
Is funny
Because
I just forgot to breathe.

Monday, January 23, 2012

The Keys Flew Away

It was a Monday in January

When the keys flew away

Slowly floating away from the keyboard

Maybe they too were bored

 

The wind took them through a window

In the side of the office

Where they took to the sky

To play with the clouds

 

The keys spun with the currents

Leaving contrails behind them

The words were imprinted on the skies

For all to see

 

Then there was me

Alone in the office

Watching a keyboard without keys

Waiting for inspiration

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Remember The Words

She is the chaos child

Her soul an animal, wild

Rushing through infinities

Electric extremities

 

When she whispers in your ear

You better pay attention

Even if the meaning is clear

The secrets need a mention

 

How deep would you dig in?

To find the root of her sin

In the pages of a book

You closed and locked far away

 

Feel the fear in the darkness

Feel the terror of being alone

Remember the words she said

Welcome to the shadow zone

----------------
Check the daily short story series, Shadow Zone>> www.fubar69.blogspot.com!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

It Always Rains In This City

It always rains in this city
Through the day, through the night
All the lights shine so pretty
All the darkness is so bright

There is sin in these streets
There is hunger, there is fear
Mistrust breeds deceit 
Every shadow is so clear

People drown their sorrows
In the bottles filled with fire
They don't want a tomorrow
But they fall to desire

In these streets you walk
Memories fogged like a glass
From the breath of a lover
Who never takes off her mask

It always rains in this city
Where the lights are so pretty
In the puddles and the gutters
Where hope crawls off to die

--------------
Hey all, to get the feel of this poem in prose, check my Short Story blog www.fubar69.blogspot.com where I am experimenting with noir genre. It's a cool story called Shadow Zone and I'm posting new parts every day. Hope you like reading it :)
Cheers!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Forgotten

I've forgotten
More
Than I can remember
Sure
This brain is old
Getting older
Getting colder
So cold
Fighting every day
Every night
Every waking hour
My thoughts devour
Me
I am tasty
But I'll get stuck in the throat
Of whoever tried to eat me
I'll claw and dig my way out
Of every hole
Even when I've forgotten my way back
Even then I'll remember to attack
Everything

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

The Fog

Life is a road
Full of fog of time
We can only see till a distance
And pray it will be fine

One step in front of another
Eyes on the prize
Even if you can't see
Keep it clear in your mind

So, walk on brother walk on
Walk my sister walk
We're all going home
Through this fog of life

We'll get there
Trust me on this
We'll get there
Sooner, or later